A letter to Taxidermy Training Unlimited

February 8th, 2011

Squirrel mount

To the artists and teachers at Taxidermy Training Unlimited,

I have recently come into a large amount of deceased squirrels. We get a lot of rain up around these parts and some local townspeople can oft’ be heard remarking that it’s raining “cats and dogs”. For me, it’s raining squirrels all over my front lawn.

Never feed your local squirrels fermented bananas. They eat ‘em up and get sick real quick, and, before you can say “nuts”, they just lie down and die in the middle of your front yard. Piles of ‘em. I’ve got me a wheelbarrow full of dead squirrels. And, sirs or madams, I intend to honor these little critters after what I’ve done to ‘em.

That’s why I’m writing you folks today. I internetly researched your weblinked site and stumbled upon your DVD, “Jean Roll’s Skinning, Mounting & Finishing A Competition Squirrel”. Thing is, I know absolutely nothing about the process of taxidermy. Could you please send me an introductory DVD on how to go about approaching my first attempt at taxidermy? If you don’t have any beginner videos, then I would greatly appreciate you sending me the aforementioned DVD (I’m surprised that Jean Roll can fit all that knowledge into only two DVDs).

In the very least, could you send me a pamphlet detailing the starters approach to readying a squirrel for its immortal journey into still life? Or a few photos to get me started? I’m at a loss here. And there are umpteen squirrels to attend to.

I appreciate your understanding with regards to the timely fashion in which a wheelbarrow full of squirrels must be dealt with before the smell gets into everything nearby (I am already trying to decide how to dispose of the wheelbarrow).

I will await your speedy reply. Until then, I remain,

Matt Raudsepp

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