An Impromptu Hollandaise

January 29th, 2011

High School Cafeteria is where food goes to die. Actually, its where food goes to be cryogenically frozen and conveniently resurrected.  Cafeteria food is Ellen Ripley of food. But you can be creative! The High School cafeteria is full of wonderful surprises to spice your bland burger or your lifeless Pasta.

Does the Lasagna taste like a soggy matchbook? Does the canneloni taste like a moist toilet paper roll? Simply whip together your own bechamel sauce using creamers and a butter container. And you can warm the sauce using a small container and the hand-dryer’s in the High School’s bathroom. Invert the nozzle upward and place your container atop the propulsed heat, leaving it to reduce (and fill the washroom with a pleasant aroma).

They say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Then why are Cafeterias serving our youth limp, lack-luster eggs. The solution: throw together an impromptu hollaindaise using a couple of packets of mayonnaise, some butter and a splash of lemonade. Concoct your own Ceasar with mayonnaise and mustard packets. By Mcguyvering your way around the cafeteria’s condiments and amenities, you can make any number of dipping sauces, marinades, coolies, vinagrettes, salsas and compotes.


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