An open letter to online pants vendors

July 20th, 2011

To whom it may concern,

If your online shoppe sells pants AND shorts, then you can ignore this letter. If, however, your store only sells one of the two, be it a simple stand-alone shorts shop or a positively primo place for perusing pants, then please read on.

The issue is thumbnail photography (those little pictures showcasing items of interest, often organized in a large grid). I have no problem with the layout, or even the concept of displaying your wares in such a fashion. My problem lies with the cropping of the photography.

I tried to buy a pair of shorts online and received pants. Turns out that the thumbnail picture of the “shorts” I thought I was buying was cropped above the knee. A pair of pants was trick shot to pass as shorts. I got the pants in the mail weeks later and cut them off where the picture was cropped. Fine, I can crop that shit too. With scissors.

No, not fine. I tried ordering a head band online and – lo and behold – what came in the mail? A tuque. Exactly… the picture was cropped at the forehead. Not fine. Don’t get me started on other failed online shopping experiences: slip-on shoes, muscle shirts, ankle socks… the list goes on (all of which cropped at their respective borders where their identity changes and they become another article of clothing, where they jump into a new category of description).

Yes, your store might be called “Palace of Pants”, “Shorts Stop” or “No Headbands Here; Just Tuques!”, but we live in a hyper-visual age where we have no time to read anything. We rely on pictures.

Thanks for reading this. Oh, what’s that? You didn’t read my letter? Here’s a picture:

Pants or Shorts?

These are some shorts I bought. Guess what? They’re fucking pants and now I’m stuck with them. Thanks thumbnail cropping!

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1 Comment

Jul 21, 2011
I bought my wife "back vibrator",guess what it was cropped. I sent it back.