Blackened Swan and the Bucket List

May 12th, 2011

More and more, people are coming up to me and telling me about how they ate crocodile, or kangaroo steak, or a toucan burger. As if they were fulfilling some imaginary Bucket-List-menu of esoteric animals. But their excitement quickly recedes when they’re asked about its taste, their answers falling somewhere between “like conveyor belt” to “memory foamy”.

Not enough animals are being hunted that would catch my attention on a restaurant’s table d’hôte. The following is my animal entrée Bucket List:

Swan.  This one just makes sense. We eat every other stupid wade-and-look-pretty bird, why not this one? Because it’s beautiful and kind of sexy? Like the Jessica Lange of the bird family? Not good enough. Next Christmas, make it Swan, Grandma.

Anteater/Armadillo/Aardvark. Despite the cartoon characters on Arthur or maybe because of them, I’ve developed a hankering for some hairless meat that isn’t pig. Hook us up Mexico!

Owl. It would just be cool to eat owl.

Dinosaur. If ever we were going to Jurassic Parkify some dinosaurs, it should be for cooking curiosity only, not for entertainment. I’ve sat through too many episodes of the Flintstones not to be jealous of their dino-diet. Don’t let us down, Science.

Here’s Arthur with a mouth-watering aardvarked Matt Damon!

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