Exoticize Your Thighs

February 10th, 2011

Edible-undies are a kinky way to bring the kitchen into the bedroom. This Saint-Valentine’s day, why not bring the bedroom into the kitchen. Perversify your dinner plans and make this delicious Pineapple Panty Pork.  To paraphrase Emeril Lagasse: “Kink it up a notch!”

Puns aside, you’re gonna want to get tenderloin for this recipe. Also, I opted for the Exotic fruit flavoured undergarments, hoping the meal suggests an unforgettable night on a tropical beach. For those with little or no edible-undie experience, they taste like a fruit roll-up. A mouth-watering concoction of fruit substitutes and chemical compounds, the underwear tends to disintegrate and stain whatever it comes into contact with, so keep it away from the pork until just before plating. Once the meat is fully cooked, wrap the loin with the unfolded lingerie and watch it buckle and liquesce into the flesh like the blistering skin of a Chernobyl victim. Capture the aromas of mango, pineapple, guava and papaya as they dissolve into nothingness, leaving you with a neon-orange sludge oozing its way across your plate.


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