Have your Vindaloo and Eat it Too

March 16th, 2011

Here’s a helpful tip for all you monogamous foodies out there! Surprise your girlfriend with an elaborately prepared Indian dinner, making sure to fill your home with all of the pungent spicy fragrances. Then afterwards, take your girlfriend up into the bedroom, dim the lights, let the heady bouquets take you away and then suddenly you’ll be fucking an Indian girl.

This little trick works with all sorts of races and cultures. Try Vietnamese one night, making dishes reeking of cardamom and Lemongrass. Or maybe South American. Polish. Cambodian. Turn your bedroom into a U.N. Summit!

And if your girlfriend catches on, no need to feel guilty. It’s not like you were thinking about a particular individual, you were thinking about an entire race. Who knows? She might even play along, in which case, may I suggest dressing her up in appropriate cultural attire. Maybe Get her to try an accent.

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