Iodining Out

April 3rd, 2011

Since the devastating tragedy in Japan, I have heard many people uttering the words “well, I’m not eating sushi anymore”.

You poor ignorant fucks.

This is your chance to develop mutant super powers. The concentration of radioactive iodine is twice the legal limit. According to Japanese officials, these levels are not high enough to harm humans, “but may be high enough to endow an individual with superhuman strength or invisibility or shit like that”.

Ever since news broke of the leak at the Fukushima nuclear power plant, I have been making regular visits to my favourite sushi place, replenishing my body with calculated measures of iodine. A sophisticated palate will appreciate the subtle sharpness of a radioactive sashimi roll. You will likely detect hints of pencil crayon, Dramamine and in the Fresh water Tuna, a delicate drop of Lucite.

I’ve already started to notice a change. I’m sleeping a lot more, and then I’m still tired during the day. The headaches are getting deeper, and yet sharper. And then I think to myself, this is probably how Gambit feels or Havoc or Jubilee.

Anyway, I’ll keep you guys updated. If you want superpowers too, join me at my favourite sushi place: Sushi Shoten on Parc Ave. in Montreal.

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