Is it a Boy or a Girl… or a Tapeworm?

May 8th, 2011

When something is living inside your body, your diet becomes a primary concern. Its health and development are of the utmost importance. The following is a list of things to remember when hosting a tapeworm.

The tapeworm doesn’t have a mouth. It absorbs the host’s food by diffusion and active transport. And its waste goes back to your stomach the same way. So eat smart because your body will be processing pre-processed shit.

You are likely to develop anorexia when hosting a tapeworm, so make sure to house your worm during the summer months. This means smaller pant sizes and a slammin’ bikini bod.

When the tapeworm is fully grown, and too big for your intestines, it will repel from your intestines and squirm out of your anus. Be sure to shit somewhere near a cow or elephant, so that your tapeworm has a cosier home. You are likely to have a tearful goodbye with your impermanent friend, as its girth and scales will grate and scuff your ass’s lining.


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May 08, 2011
Better and better. keep em comin'