My Lunch with Lamagne

January 16th, 2011

I emailed my old English Professor, asking him if he’d like to meet for coffee. He wrote back, saying that he’d love to and he suggested a place called la Fourchette des Ducs, a cozy little bistro with a reasonable lunch menu. This promised to be an incredible meal with good wine and lively conversation, but because it was Sunday, I coaxed him into meeting at Starbucks instead for another edition of the Sunday Starbucks review! He reluctantly agreed.

By the time I arrived, Professor Lamagne was already seated, halfway through his latte and his scone. I pretended to make a big deal about how I wanted to pay for him. I think he believed me.

I returned to the table with my coffee and muffin, then retrieved my notepad to get started. “So, what’s going on, Matthew?” He asked, “Why did you want to meet?”

“Well, you’re somebody whose opinion I deeply respect. I was hoping you could just answer a few questions.”

“Certainly”, he said.

“Okay, great! Um, how’s the latte?”


I proceeded to tell him about this website and my Starbucks reviews every Sunday. I said I thought it’d be fun to get a second opinion. After a little prodding, he finally started giving me some quotable material, using words like “It’s fine”, “It’s just coffee”, or “I guess the scone’s a little dry”. It should be mentioned that he really didn’t look like he was having a good time.

Suddenly, he seemed to be in a rush to head out. So I shook his hand and we parted ways. Before he reached the door, I called out to him: “Next time we’ll go to la Fourchette!” He didn’t asnwer back.

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Jan 18, 2011
They'd better step up their game. Giant coffeehouse oligopolies have no incentive to moisten their scones. Java U all the way!!! Good coffee and moist vegan delights!
Chrismas Son
Jan 17, 2011
Aren't you worried that all this bad press might bankrupt them? You'd put a lot of people out of work, Matt G.