The Gastric Harlem Globetrotters

May 1st, 2011

Popular Culture has offered us countless representations of foodies, gluttons and gourmands over the years. From Hannibal Lector to the Cookie Monster to the Crane Brothers, any fictional food lover could deftly compliment the kitchen staff of any four-star restaurant. Which begs the question: who would I want on my team?

On appetizers, I’d want Theodore from the Chipmunks. He has a delicate palate and a playful creativity which lends itself to thoughtful amuse-bouches and bold combinations. He’s sensitive and careful which perhaps doesn’t lend itself to handling the main dishes. In the made-for-TV-special, A Chipmunk Christmas (1981), Theodore had stressed about making a Christmas dinner for Dave and his brothers. Too immature to head the kitchen, but a perfect sous-chef.

Head Chef would go to Mama Joe from the movie Soul Food (1997). Matriarch Mama Joe kept her family together with her down-home cooking and no-bullshit attitude. She would do the same for my kitchen. Let’s pretend she isn’t dying of diabetes.

And for Desserts, there were many contenders. Honey-loving pooh bear and the Cookie Monster were eliminated for their narrow fields. The Witch from Hansel and Gretel had been considered for her architectural ingenuity, but in the end, Tum Tum from the 3 Ninjas (1992) was selected for his integrity, strength and bravery, invaluable skills honed under the tutelage of Master Mori Shintaro.


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1 Comment

May 02, 2011
All very good choices.